heal my soul
2002 : asheville NC

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I'm dying on the inside from a chemical affliction
But I'm trying so badly to break with my traditions
I'm rotting on the outside from a cleanliness aversion
It's my own personal self-destructive perversion.

My body's hollow and my mind is filled with pain
I don't remember the first time you crawled inside my brain
A bit remorseful and a bit retired
You are the one that lets me know that im alive.

And if indifference is the true opposite of love
Then why do I hate you, why cant I wait for you to leave?
I believe I am just beginning to live
I'll let you in even if you have nothing left to give.

I just want to heal my soul
I just want to feel whole
I just want to let you know
I hate you too much to let you go.

Am I giving up? Is this my passive decline?
Will I slip into an implosive mental spiral?
Or is this a second start, a chance to ride the wave?
To crash and to burn like a Pheonix in the flames

Cry my a river of the flood and of the foam
Why do you shiver with your blood and with your bones?
If I deliver my love to you in a poem
Would you let me die to fly above and alone?

I just want to heal my soul
I just want to feel whole
I just had to let you know
I love it too much to let it all go.